The geniuses at new Colt have finally come up with something we could all use–the new Colt Robototron-2000! It's gonna put those fuck machines from ButtMachineBoys.com out of business for good… Oh shit. Wait a second. That's not a photo of a remarkably life-like robot, it's a studio-manufactured, overly Photoshopped image of Jasper Van Dean! Silly me… with those unnatural eyes, the lighting that looks like it was done by someone with macular degeneration, and that bogus background, I thought for sure this was a CGI mockup of the Robototron-2000. (Seriously. And this image is one of the best of the bunch.) My apologies to the fine artists at new Colt.
The new Colt Robototron-2000!
![The new Colt Robototron-2000!](https://b2242660.smushcdn.com/2242660/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/3783_07.jpg?lossy=2&strip=1&webp=1)