The geniuses at new Colt have finally come up with something we could all use–the new Colt Robototron-2000! It's gonna put those fuck machines from ButtMachineBoys.com out of business for good… Oh shit. Wait a second. That's not a photo of a remarkably life-like robot, it's a studio-manufactured, overly Photoshopped image of Jasper Van Dean! Silly me… with those unnatural eyes, the lighting that looks like it was done by someone with macular degeneration, and that bogus background, I thought for sure this was a CGI mockup of the Robototron-2000. (Seriously. And this image is one of the best of the bunch.)┬áMy apologies to the fine artists at new Colt.