I knew I was gay at 4 years old.

Honestly, I am one of those gays that can tell you since I was born, I knew I preferred boys over girls. Growing up, I felt an organic attraction to boys and men and would always get those butterflies around boys in my class I thought were cute. So while many young men had to grow through puberty and come to terms with their sexuality, I knew since a child I loved men. Pop culture would eventually teach me what gay was and very early on accepted who I was. 

At 4 years old, however, I laid my eyes on the first man who made my jaw drop (or probably just giggle and blush). It wasn't an actor or pro-athlete but the father of my childhood neighborhood friend. He was the classic All-American bodybuilder with a charming smile and handsomely chiseled face. A true Colt model in the making. Of course with my innocence, I did not know where this obsession with alpha males would lead to, but even as a young child I remember gushing at the sight of this handsome Adonis.  

Throughout my adolescence, I always had a crush on the alpha male in the room.

The charming, strong jock or pretty boy that had it all. Even in television and movies, my crushes were Jason the Red Power Ranger, Zach Morris & AC Slater from “Saved by the Bell”, Joey Lawrence, John Stamos, etc. I mean the list goes on and on. So you know how much I loved “The Terminator” after I first laid my eyes on the exposed image of Arnold Schwarzenegger half-naked as the perfectly built human bot. Mixed with the show “American Gladiators”, this young boy was easily entertained. 

Many people, including writers like Muscle Gallery (now known as Orizaba) and Muscle Worship King have shared with us their stories as to where they discovered their lust for muscle, and many would tell you of iconic bodybuilding magazines like Flex, Iron Man & Muscular Development.

For me, I quickly tuned into the world of porn and instantly understood it for what it was.

A multi-billion dollar industry with many players who deserved more respect than they were allowed. Admittedly, I was a bit spoiled growing up and was one of the lucky few in my class who had a computer in my room for as long as I can remember. So you know as a growing male teen in Southern California I easily accessed adult content quite early in my teenage years. (Sorry porn companies. Don't come for me now but yeah, I totally clicked on tabs stating I was 18 when I was not.) Immediately, I was thrust into a world where the football quarterback in my high school class seemed like nothing but a boy.

I had discovered lust for real men.


I know who you are based on your favorite pornstar.

If you've read my interviews, you know that whenever I interview someone, I ask who their favorite pornstars are. I'm honestly curious and it's on-topic for our conversations–but I feel like I can learn a bit about a person based on who they jack off to. It's a window into their interests. Are they are into bodybuilders, twinks, bears, etc? Do they prefer to sexually be a top or bottom? Their answers can even indicate roughly how old they are. In interviewing some people for Muscle Service I have been able to correctly identify their age. Whenever people tell me their favorites were Paul Carrigan, Max Grand, Tom Katt, Caesar, Zeb Atlas, Gauge, Arpad Miklos, Zak Spears, Carl Hardwick, Michael Brandon or Billy Herrington (to name a couple), I know who they were googling in the early 2000s. And boy was I there with you. 

With the rise of social media, came the community of admirers I was able to get in touch with.

For the longest time I built connections under the name CelebirtyCumLover. I subsequently became to MuscleCumLover for branding purposes. Why that name? Well, the Muscle Lover part is quite obvious and the cum part was once a shock factor. To be honest, I didn't spend too much time on forums although if I had known more about them, I would’ve been more active. But I was active on blogs.

Blogs would eventually turn into sites like Tumblr followed by social media platforms like Instagram and Twitter that rule today.

Just this week, I held a poll online as to which muscle worship sites of the past people missed. Options were Muscle Hunks, Muscle Gallery, Jimmy Z Productions, and Manifest Muscle. Unsurprisingly, both on Instagram and Twitter, there was a strong desire for content by Muscle Hunks to come back. I hope to one day soon produce content that could rival the site.

Funny enough, about a year ago, I chatted with someone who was running a Muscle Hunks Twitter account who mentioned he would try to bring back content in the form of an Only Fans account. I wasn't too sure if he was the real deal, but he promised he would produce new content as long as there was traffic to the OF account. Unfortunately, the Twitter handle was taken down and he has not made contact since. 

Where do I find myself today?

Enjoying my time writing for Muscle Service, learning a lot from Ace Bannon, and connecting with rising talent that will make their mark in history via porn.

Porn allowed me to see my fantasies come to life. At the touch of a finger, I was able to see men who reminded me of my neighborhood bodybuilder in a whole new light. No longer did I have to lust over the neighbor bodybuilder using my pure imagination; I discovered a world where the man I lusted over was live on screen doing the things I could previously only imagine.


Hey, in another life, I would've entertained jumping in front of the camera myself. Since then, I have fallen in and out of love with men but have always remembered the excitement seeing Colt men in the nude gave me and I hope to continue the legacy that muscle-centric content can provide to the porn industry. Until then, catch me here and on Instagram and Twitter